I am falling through quicksand and
it is too late
to save myself.
I keep looking for something to cling on to but there is nothing
nothing.
I scream at myself because this is my fault.
All
my
fault.
I willingly stepped into it because I thought I could fight it.
I thought it would be fun to test its limits and
I had so much belief in my own power and
I thought I'd be able to walk right past it because I'm strong
but I'm not.
Dear lord
I
am
not.
But it's too late.
I'm sinking and
the harder I fight it
the deeper I fall.
I know the only way to get out of it is to stop struggling
but the panic won't stop overwhelming me and I can't keep a clear head and
I
am
absurdly
enjoying
losing
myself
in this mess
and I also just want to let the quicksand swallow me whole because of my foolish
foolish mistake.
I have gained nothing from this but scars.
Scars and
overwhelming
humiliation.
I just want to let the abyss envelope me
for ever thinking I could win this pointless battle and
come out
unscathed.
