Tick tock

I'm losing time for myself.

I promised myself I'd update this blog regularly and I haven't been able to do that at all.

Second semester is taking up a lot of my time and energy.

I don't understand why I've felt so exhausted these past two weeks.

It's like something invisible has been sucking the life force out of me.

Every time I get to school, I wish I was home and in bed instead, while every time I get home, I wish I was out doing something useful.

One thing I really want right now is a ticket to some place other than here.

I need a breather. I need to get away from it all.

Man, that sounds really selfish and self-serving considering how sembreak just ended two weeks ago and the semester has barely started.

But I can't help it. I feel like I'm not ready to face everything yet.

I wish I could just fast-forward to Christmas break.

I don't even know why I'm typing this post like this.

I'm starting to feel a little better though.

I wish that feeling could last much longer.

I seriously need it.

Trainwreck

(c) Berenice Griffeth

She stared at her hands, all wrinkled and unattractive. The faucet was still on and it took her a full minute before realizing she had to close it. Was this really happening? Was it all over? She grabbed a paper towel and dried her hands slowly while pacing the living room floor. All signs of their terrible fight earlier were evident. The vase they had bought together on their first anniversary, in pieces on the floor. Pieces of a relationship she knew she could never really fix. The coffee stains blemishing the rug with bruises, from the mug she had thrown at him hysterically. And the letters, oh the letters. Handwritten letters from ever since they started dating. They were both old-fashioned, hopeless romantics that way. The letters were lying all torn up and crumpled over the foyer. Letters he had destroyed right before walking out the door. That was the real slap on her face. And she knew that he knew it was a low blow. He hadn't even bothered to get his keys. It was as though he never planned on coming back. 

But he would. 

She knew he would. 

That had always been their weakness. 

After all the constant fighting and yelling and threats of leaving each other, they never did. No. She didn't know if it was because they loved each other too much or if it was because they were both cowards. Either way, she was miserable. Who was this man that had just walked out her front door? She couldn't recognize him at all.

As she sank to her knees, heaving with dry sobs that threatened to turn into rain, she caught a glimpse of one of their old photographs. It had been taken that day he surprised her with a bouquet of daffodils he had picked on a whim. They had gone to the carnival right after. Oh god, they looked so vibrant and happy. It was like looking at two different people. Her hair had been shorter, blonder and her smile had been brighter. As she fingered her now lank and untended hair, she desperately tried to remember what it felt like to smile. Looking at the photo, she couldn't help but sigh. Rob. Oh Rob. Looking as ruggedly handsome as he always had. His eyes just sparkling full of life and his strong arm looped casually around her waist. Her Rob. Now when she thought of him, all she could picture was how his eyes had changed. The calm blue that once begged to know her had now turned into a soulless and empty storm that was alive with resentment.

What on earth had happened?

She punched the floor. Once, twice, thrice. And let out her loudest scream. A scream of frustration, anger and longing. Yes, longing. Longing for the Rob she had always felt so strongly for. For the feel of his warm, gentle hands cupping her face. And the sight of his startling turquoise eyes as they gazed at her full of love.  

Then she sat there, tears streaming down her face. 

Waiting. 

Waiting for that knock on the door. 

The knock which would signal the start of another ride in their trainwreck of a relationship.

The train that ultimately led nowhere.

For they will break the boundaries of our fear.

So it's half past 2 AM right now and once again, I can't sleep. The only difference this time is I feel like writing. There are so many thoughts in my mind and I wish I could write about them all just so I don't have to think about them anymore but of course that's not really happening (whew talk about run-on sentence). I guess what I'll write about now is something a bit more interesting than the rest. ☺

All of us have this sort of plan in our heads of what we're going to do 5 years from now or 10 years or 20. We've all mapped out what we're going to be, where we're going to be and all things related to the future. You're probably thinking right now that what I'm leading to is what my plan is for the future. Well you can turn that frown upside down because that's not what I'm going to talk about. Too dull and predictable. And okay, maybe I also don't want to write it down now so I don't jinx it. Hihi. 

Now you're thinking, what could I possibly want to talk about then? Well, let me start with a question..

Every person on this planet has a dream, right? 

Yes, yes, it's a corny question but if for some reason you haven't given up on me yet then please do continue ☺

We all have our dreams. But the thing I really want to talk about is something that most people end up not talking about because of shyness or whatever other excuse comes up. 

What I want to talk about is.. Our impossible dreams.

Yep, there I said it. Impossible dreams.

Those dreams which might seem silly to other people or might even surprise them because they never considered that we could dream of such things. 

Well, it's really late and for some reason, I feel like writing down my impossible dreams. Maybe not all of them but those that are so impossible that they make me feel happy just thinking about them if that makes sense☺

This is in no particular order okay. Just whatever comes to mind at this very moment. Hmm.

First impossible dream (which I believe is shared by many) is to fly. We're all familiar with it. You know, just being able to spread your arms and soar to the heavens. Ahhh. What a dream. Truly wonderful if it could come true ☺ 

Just close your eyes and imagine for a minute that that dream wasn't impossible. You're at the edge of this really gigantic mountain and you can see the whole world below you. You spread your arms and jump off. And you're flying. Flying as free as a bird. And you feel that magnificent rush of adrenaline, power and liberation. The thrill makes you laugh out with joy. And you can see all the glory of the world below you. All the lights, sounds and people.. Just pinpricks at your feet.

Isn't it just beautiful? 

Hmm, second impossible dream. 

To be part of this big-budget Hollywood film. Oh c'mon, don't deny that you've never thought of that for one second! I mean, just think. What if you could be part of a really amazing big-budget film like let's say.. one of the Harry Potter films or Avengers or Lord of the Rings (Return of the King, since that was my favorite of the three hehe) or Mission Impossible 4 and yes you get the picture. I don't know about you but that sounds pretty amazing. Hard work I know but oh so worth it! Just seeing all that brilliance put together for a film and seeing how great it turned out on the big screen? That's already such a huge reward for me. 

And it's not just getting that one-time chance. I'm about to share something which has been kind of a secret of mine.. 

So yes, I'm quite obsessed with anything and everything connected to film! Surprising, you might say but it's very true. Over the years of reading up about facts and trivia that happen during film making and the whole process and what not, I've gained a huger appreciation for everything. And I'm just so interested! The fact that it's a very trying business but somehow, they still end up amazing people with some works of pure brilliance. It's just such a remarkable thing to me. I know that I don't know as much as I would like to but oh god, if given the opportunity to be a part of something like that.. It's really such a secret dream of mine (which is obviously not a secret anymore to whoever is reading this). Hihi ☺

Okay I kinda sidetracked right there, sorry. I just couldn't help it!

So, impossible dream number three. I guess it would be getting to spend even just a month in most, if not all (okay wow, I'm getting carried away again haha) the countries in the world! You have to admit, that dream is such a huge one but again, just think about it! What if you could spend a month in all the countries you wanted to go to? Holy guacamole. From let's say, France to Spain to Greece to Egypt to South Africa to Brazil to India to Japan and so on and so forth! Over a hundred countries out there in the world filled with all sorts of people and interesting cultures. To be able to live that dream over a lifetime would be just one of the best things in the world. I get speechless just dreaming about it. Haha.

Impossible dream four.. 

To make a huge discovery that changes the world! Vague? Hmm. Think along the lines of discovering something really big. Like.. The mystery behind the making of Stonehenge. Or finding the ruins of Atlantis (if it really did exist). Or figuring out how the pyramids of Egypt were built. Or a cure for cancer. Unspeakably huge things that would just change everything. Again, such an incredible dream right? 

Okay, I have so much more dreams in mind but I'll share just one last dream! 

Impossible dream number five.

To be fluent (as in - read, write and speak) more than 10 languages! Ugh I would feel like such a badass if that came true. Maybe it's not as impossible to other people (geniuses, spies and all those other cool people) but I mean c'mon, I've got to be realistic. Would I really be able to accomplish that? I'd like to dream so. Haha.

So that's that. I guess I better sleep now. I'll just end this post by being really predictable and saying..

What's your impossible dream? ☺

Nothing is impossible (3/3)

A few days before the weekend of the camp, I was really annoyed because I was going to miss an important org event. But then, I already promised I'd go to camp and I still wanted to anyhow.

I was nervous though. Really nervous. I didn't know how it would turn out. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make new friends. And most of all, I didn't know how to deal with the awkwardness of meeting other teenagers who already sort of knew me because of my parents. Quite a number of them would always be at our house because they had meetings with my parents concerning YFC and other things. So, of course, they would see me every time I was at home. They were friendly enough though I always stuck to my room or our family room when they'd be there. So thinking about all those things made me nervous. I was glad that my parents would be there because they had to oversee everything.

On May 11, I didn't have any class to go to (amazingly, all 3 of my classes were free cut!) so I wasn't going to be late for camp anymore like I originally thought I would be. My parents and my sister, along with the some YFC members had already gone ahead to the place where camp would be. They were going to set up and prepare everything. So I had to ride with the other participants of the camp. When I got to the meeting place, I was glad since everyone was friendly. And on the way to the camp, my initial shyness went away and I was able to talk to the other participants. To my pleasant surprise, two of the girls I talked to a lot were Augustinians! That definitely helped break the ice. 

After an hour of travel or so, we finally arrived in Oasis. I have to say, this place was just lovely. It was so clean, with a lot of trees and quaint cottages. It definitely had this serene feeling to it and I felt all my troubles go away. 

Now, I'll talk about the camp itself. Of course, I won't be able to write down every single thing that happened so I'll just talk about the highlights of the camp.

The main objective of the camp was to be able to make us participants feel the passion to serve God. All throughout the camp, we had to listen to these talks which targeted certain topics.

Talk 1: God's love and His plan for us

Talk 2: Who is Jesus Christ?

Talk 3: Repentance, Forgiveness, Healing and Faith

Talk 4: Baptism and the Holy Spirit

Talk 5: Growing in the Spirit

Now, all of these talks were beautiful and inspiring. But the talk which really struck me was the 3rd one. Repentance, Forgiveness, Healing and Faith. Why? 

Because this was what I needed to hear, even if I didn't realize it at first. 

All this time ever since I started losing myself, what I didn't realize was that this was what I needed to go through. I needed to be sorry, for all the mistakes I've done which have led to regrets. I needed to forgive, not just the people who hurt me but more importantly, myself. I needed to open myself up to healing. I needed to let go completely of those things which just brought me down and ate me up inside. And lastly, the most important of all - I needed my faith back. I needed to believe in God's amazing grace again. I needed to believe, with all of my heart, that He would never let me down nor forsake me.

This talk changed me.

I remember listening to the speaker and the sharers, and just wanting to break down right there and then. One of the sharers talked about an experience so horrible that it just broke my heart. And I was actually tearing up. The amazing thing was how he was standing there, right in front of us all, and just baring his heart and soul. I know it was one of the hardest things he had to do, considering what he had gone through. And it awed me how even through that, he found it in his heart to forgive. He forgave those who had caused him such unimaginable pain. As he was speaking, it struck me how selfish I had become. There was this guy right in front of me who had forgiven even though it was difficult. Why couldn't I do the same? Why couldn't I find it in myself to let go? And in that moment, I knew that somehow, this talk was His way of speaking to me to be strong and take that step. This was what I needed. I took that step. And it changed me. It really did. 

This sense of peace and tranquility just enveloped me. And I knew that from that point thereon, things would be better like I hoped it would be.

Of course, our camp wasn't made up of just talks. The talks were divided among the 3 days of camp we had. There were so many activities in between. The games they came up with were really fun and it made us all warm up to each other in no time. 

One of my favorite parts of the camp was when we did Praisfests. You're probably not sure what I mean but that's when you sing with all your heart to God and just praise him. Back in CSA, we used to call it "Praise & Worship". In CFC and YFC, it's simply called "Praisefest". The thing is, though I stopped being an active member of YFC in the past, I still remembered all the songs. So when they were teaching the participants, it was easier for me since I knew most of the songs. 

Our first worship was really fun but then, most of the participants were still shy. I knew I was. Though I wanted to sing and dance my heart out like the other old YFC members, I felt like it wasn't my time to yet. The next two though, were amazing. We lost all our inhibitions and just lifted everything up to Him. It was liberating. Just singing your heart out and knowing it was all for Him. Every now and then, I would peek at others and the sight that greeted me was beautiful. Every single person, even all the guys, were just singing with their arms raised to God and their eyes closed. Beautiful. There were fast songs which made you feel like you were in this concert or party and just having fun dancing. Then there were slow songs so beautiful that they could make you tear up just listening to them. It was really great.

Another thing I remember about camp was how much I cried. Haha. Won't elaborate too much on this but I can tell you, everyone did. Be it guy or girl. 

Oh, during the morning of our second day there, the YFC members (original members who were our facilitators or part of the service team; technically, participants aren't members yet) started a water fight! It was fun but unfair as well because they didn't give us participants any ammo :)) They started throwing all these huge water balloons at us and we were in our jammies! They even got out pails and buckets of water and started chasing us around the field. Haha. 

So many other memorable things happened. Maybe the best one was when they "baptized" us and welcomed us as members of YFC SB2. Oh and the night that happened, we had our E-Night as well! This was the night when all the groups (they had divided us into 4 on the first day, with both old members and new) performed, basically anything that showcased talents and well, entertained everyone. It was really fun, filled with singing and dancing performances, acting and a whole load of pickup lines and jokes. We ended around 2 in the morning, haha. 

So, I guess that pretty much sums up my youth camp experience. It was an amazing weekend and it truly changed everything for me. 

Now, I feel happier. Like I took this step in the right direction and that I'm heading down the road where I know everything's better. I mean, you might think that YFC is just this group of teenagers who talk about God all day long and just pray. But believe me, it's more than that. It's actually better than that. 

In YFC, I've met some of the most amazing people ever. People you wouldn't expect to be serving Him. And what I admire the most about them is how they have this fire burning in their hearts. They truly love God and are serving by bringing other youth closer to Him. I think, if you meet them, you'd just come across this group of people who love hanging out and who are just so funny. They make up the most random jokes yet somehow, you just know that they're really there for you if you need a friend. Okay, I sound so cheesy but it's true. Haha.

Serving God isn't lame. I mean, you don't have to start preaching all the time and forcing your opinions down everyone's throats. I don't think that's serving Him. 

The real way is just to really, truly believe in Him and His love. It is wanting to pray more and do more. It is wanting to make other people see that He really is great. It is not being afraid to stand up for what you believe in. It is putting Him first and just making yourself a better person, little by little. 

You might be wondering why the title of my post is "Nothing is impossible." Well, it's because it was the theme song of our camp. And I actually believe that it applies to me. 

I went the wrong direction a number of times but in the end, He always lead me back. And I'm here now writing this post. I'll end it with one of my favorite passages in camp ☺

"With God, all things are possible." (Romans 8:28)

Nothing is impossible (2/3)

So you may be wondering how I was convinced to go and attend camp again, willingly. 

Well, in the latter part of my fourth year in high school, I remember my mom urging me to find a way to serve God again. This was around the time when I was deciding between Ateneo and UP. Naturally, my parents were leaning towards UP (especially since it was their alma mater) but then, Ateneo truly was my dream. I couldn't decide at all. I mean, they weren't forcing me to go to UP because they also held Ateneo in high regard; but it was still such a tough decision to make. I remember praying really hard for guidance. In the end, I knew my heart belonged to Ateneo. I was nervous because I didn't know how to break it to my parents, but I mustered my courage and I did. 

I had no reason to be nervous at all. 

My parents supported my decision and were happy for me. They truly were. But then, there was one thing they wanted me to do. They wanted me to serve Him again. Of course, I agreed but then I didn't know how I could. I wasn't enthusiastic about joining YFC again because then I'd have to go through camp and in my head, that was kind of awkward since I'd already done it before. Then, there was the matter of my sister already being a member. Again, I thought it would be awkward to join since my younger sister joined first. So I tried coming up with another way. That opportunity presented itself during RecWeek in Ateneo. I came across YFC (but this was university-based) so of course, it was with different people. My parents were happy when I told them I joined YFC Ateneo.

However, to be straight to the point, it didn't really work out. I wasn't active once again. I found it hard to go to activities because of all the school work. I failed God, again. And I didn't even realize it. My parents eventually realized that it wasn't working out as well.

Now though, I realize how at those times, that's when I needed to serve God the most. From a time in fourth year high school to my whole first year in college, I needed God more than ever. Why? Because I felt empty. I felt like there was this huge chunk of me that was missing. That I had no purpose whatsoever and that my life was like this blank sheet of paper. Yes, I had my family and my friends (and that's already more than other people have) but I wasn't happy. Not completely anyway. I felt like everything I used to believe in wasn't true. Love, hope and faith? I lost those things. It may not have seemed like it but those times were some of my lowest. It felt like I was just wandering aimlessly. I didn't feel strongly about anything anymore. Simply put, I lost my passion for life.

Now there was this day when I was with my mom and my friend, Zian. We were on the way home but we stopped by Army Navy for a snack. While we were there, my mom and Zian were just talking about the usual things like family, college, etc. Then they suddenly started talking about CFC and YFC. You see, Zian had been a really active member of YFC back when she was still in La Salle Zobel. She was surprised to hear that my parents were members of CFC and even more surprised that I wasn't a member of YFC. I remember my mom looking a little sad in that moment. 

And then Zian started urging me to join. She went on and on about how I really should become a member again because of this and that. The amazing thing is, I realized that I wanted to. I really wanted to. 

In that moment, I needed something to hold on to again and something to feel passionately about again and I knew that He was the answer. 

I needed my faith back. I needed to believe that everything would be okay again and that there was someone up there who would keep me strong. So I told my mom I would and that I really meant it. I remember her raising her eyebrows but then smiling hugely. I knew she'd only believe me for sure if I really did go. And I did.

Read on to the next and last part of this post! ☺

(http://dreams-and-real-things.blogspot.com/2012/05/nothing-is-impossible-33.html)

Nothing is impossible (1/3)

This is kind of a long-overdue post but I've finally found the time to write it (read: yay for the end of summer classes)!

So, I want to write about the weekend which changed a lot of things about me ☺

May 11 - 13

This was the weekend wherein I attended YFC SB2's Youth Camp.

Before I talk about my experience though, I think I better give an introduction.

Not many people may know this but my parents have long been members of CFC or Couples For Christ. To date, they have been members for 16 years! And in those years, they have always lovingly served God. To better understand, CFC is actually an international Catholic "lay ecclesial movement" (thank you Wikipedia haha) whose main goal has always been to renew and strengthen Christian family life values.

So of course, with my parents being active members of CFC, they've always instilled in me the importance of having a strong foundation of faith in God. In fact, even when my sister and I were just kids, they already made us join KFC (or better known as Kids For Christ). Needless to say, it was a very fun experience. 

When I reached my teenage years, it was time for me to leave KFC and become a member of YFC (Youth For Christ). Again, not many people know this but I became a member of YFC back when I was just around 13 or 14 years old. We were part of a different sector at that time, which was B3. I attended camp and it was a very fulfilling experience. Till now, I can still remember some of the things which happened in that camp. 

Sadly, I gradually stopped coming to other YFC activities after camp even though I told myself I'd be active. I mean, I really did try. I attended all these household meetings and also kept in touch with the other members. But then I became too busy with school and training (with the Boosters) that I simply lost time for it. My parents kept on asking me about it and even pushing me to go to various events but eventually, they stopped as well. They were disappointed, I'm sure, but they never forced me to become active again. They understood I guess, that this was something they couldn't control anymore without making me feel annoyed. But the sad thing really was the fact that the reason I was inactive was that I lost time and frankly, interest, in serving God. 

At that time, I felt I had more important things to do.

The time came when we moved to a new house (our current home) and my parents also transferred sectors. From B3, they became members of B2. And they were also asked to become heads of the youth division for B2. I know this was a huge burden for them because it meant overseeing all the projects of YFC. And c'mon, heading a huge number of teenagers can never be easy, what with all the drama we go through. But they prayed really hard and after some time, accepted. They've been youth heads for more than two years now.

The thing is, with that responsibility with them, it also brought on some pressure. Think about it, the couple in charge of YFC SB2 taking care of all these different teenagers & leading them to serve God when their own children weren't even members of YFC (technically I sort of wasn't anymore since I became completely inactive)? That was ironic. So of course, our parents started pushing us both to become members of YFC SB2. My younger sister eventually agreed and she attended camp the same year my parents became heads for the youth. And to this date, she has happily been serving Him.

Which brings me to my experience. 

Please read my next post for part 2! ☺

(http://dreams-and-real-things.blogspot.com/2012/05/nothing-is-impossible-23.html)

She remembered.

(c) Michael Vigliotti

I am standing straight and proud, smiling like a happy girl would; yet I might as well be drowning. The brown eyes which used to regard me so warmly now look at me quite impassively. I wonder, do mine convey the same amount of indifference? Or am I failing at this miserably and are my emotions seen quite plainly on my face? I look away and take a deep breath, telling myself to fight this.

I glance back at my companions and silently breathe a sigh of relief. No one seems to have noticed that one minute of weakness I displayed. No one knows, but me. This is good. This shows that I can do this, that I have enough strength to get through this alone, no matter how lonesome that sounds. This is a solitary journey after all. I see those light brown eyes looking at me again and I grin, though everything else inside is hurting.

And on the 12th day, she stopped.

So I've basically given up on ever finishing the 30-day challenge which I set out to do ages ago (surprise, surprise). I don't know, I guess it was sort of a phase. I didn't even get to half of it and I grew tired of it already. Or maybe I'm just lazy. 

With that said, I've decided to get back into writing again. And by that, I mean writing about whatever comes to my mind at different moments. For now I'm done with writing through answering questions. So the posts to come after this one will mostly be random musings or probably my attempts to write creatively ☺

Starstruck (Day 12)

Day 12 - Five guys whom you find attractive (another long overdue post, I admit)

(Warning: Before you read any further, I feel that I have to warn you that this post will be extremely girly. You'd probably get super annoyed if you don't like reading about people writing about their celebrity crushes. Okay? Okay. You have been warned, haha.)

Okay, so this will be a really a fun post to make!

I've decided to list 5 Hollywood celebrities whom I find really attractive. Obviously, they are just some of the many good-looking celebrities out there. I just decided to list the first 5 people I thought of. You don't necessarily have to agree with me, but for some reason, they make my list haha. Of course I'm including some photos and some of the reasons why I have celebrity crushes on them, hehe ☺

(Gonna list them from youngest to oldest)

❶ Logan Lerman

Okay where do I even begin? Logan Lerman is definitely my biggest crush!

It's not just because he's really good-looking but because he's such a funny and talented guy too. He acts, he writes, he plays in a band (he knows how to play the guitar and the keyboard) and he directs his own comedy shorts ☺

Also, every time I come across videos or articles of interviews with him, I find myself liking him more and more. He's a self-confessed geek, it's cute ♥ Hahahaha.

In interviews, every time an interviewer asks him about how he deals with all the girl fans out there, he always says that fans will probably be disappointed because he's really shy around girls. (For some reason, I find that adorable.)

Oh and he's just a year older than me!

I swear, the first photo just makes me swoon every time I see it ♡

➋ Alexander Ludwig

So, he's probably not as well-known as the other guys on this list but still, I find him really good-looking. And he's one of the few celebrities close to my age :)) Like Logan, he's also a year older than me.

For those who don't remember, he was Will Stanton in The Seeker: Dark Is Rising. He was such a kid there! And now, of course, he has become more known because of his role as Cato in The Hunger Games movie (will write about this soon!).

I admit, I didn't really have a crush on him when I saw him in Dark Is Rising. He only caught my attention when I came across the news that he had been cast as Cato. I'm a huge fan of the series (read the whole series around 2 years ago) so of course I was intrigued and excited to see if he'd pull it off. If you've watched the movie, I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say he pulled off Cato's cockiness. It was so amusing to watch especially since his role as Will Stanton was so different.

Oh, fun fact! He auditioned for Peeta's role (which Josh Hutcherson eventually got) and then was cast as Cato. I think they made the right choice.

He's a gifted musician as well as an athlete (he water skies, plays basketball, tennis and ice hockey).

Lastly, he is also a model for Abercrombie & Fitch.

Now for the photos! Be as amazed at his transformation as I was ☺

Then (as Will Stanton):

Now:

➌ Zac Efron

Not much needs to be said.

I mean, c'mon. He acts, he can sing and dance, he's a gentleman and he was such a sweet boyfriend to Vanessa.

There just has to be something wrong with him because he's too perfect. It's crazy, haha.

So much photos, I know (how embarrassing hahaha)

➍ James Franco

I have to say, I couldn't decide between James Franco and Ryan Gosling because they're both wonderful. I decided to go with James though because I am in awe at how talented and intelligent this guy is!

First off, he is an amazing actor. Truly. He's been nominated 34 times for various awards (and even for an Oscar!) and he has won 14 of them. He has appeared in an eclectic range of films as well. Lately, he has been trying directing.

Now, like I said earlier, he's extremely intelligent. Can you believe that he once took up 62 course credits in a quarter as compared to the usual 19? And he did this while acting! Many of his colleagues have said in interviews that his ability to focus is incredible.

He is a talented mathematician and even interned at Lockheed Martin. He has a BFA in English from UCLA, 2 MFA degrees (in writing) from Columbia and Brooklyn College, respectively; and a 3rd MFA (in film) from NYU. He also received his undergraduate degree with a GPA over 3.5/4.0. He's currently teaching film for a graduate class, aside from working for his upcoming films.

Oh, he's also a painter. Some of his work was displayed for a time at the Glu Gallery in LA and he had his first European art exhibition in 2011 at Peres Projects in Berlin.

Here are some articles:
http://www.chron.com/life/article/Star-student-Actor-James-Franco-accepted-to-UH-1611305.php
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/12/franco200812

Okay, I know this is a lot of information but c'mon, doesn't it just make your jaw drop? @-)

➎ Orlando Bloom

He is 1/3 of one of my favorite celebrity families. He and Miranda Kerr make such a good-looking couple! And Flynn Bloom has to be one of the cutest celebrity babies ever, aghhh.

I remember seeing how supportive he was of Miranda during the 2011 VS Fashion Show + he's such a sweet husband too (here's an example hihi - http://www.justjared.com/2011/11/04/orlando-bloom-framed-his-love-letters-for-miranda-kerr/#more-680346)

And yes, I've seen some of his interviews. He has such a dorky laugh, it's really adorable :)) It was during one of the times he was on Ellen's show (here's the link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz6v5SHpyf0).

He seems like such a nice person and yes, I think he's attractive as well. I mean, c'mon, if a guy can pull off (and really well, I have to say) a long-haired blonde wig, that is really something. Haha.

 

Aren't they such a lovely family? And c'mon, isn't Flynn Bloom such a cutiepie ♡

Hallelujah

Finally.
After more than 2 weeks, I finally have the time to update my blog again. It's a great feeling, really.

This whole month has frankly just been really crazy!

Loads of papers to submit and just an endless pile of school work to accomplish every night for the past 2 weeks or so.

I'm really thankful it's finally over (well, at least before the next school year starts)☺

With that said, it still amazes me that this school year has gone by so quickly. Too quickly, in fact.

Today was my last day of regular class as a college freshman (aghhh, I still can't believe it!). It blows my mind every time I think of it.

I can't believe I've survived this year.

It's definitely been such a wonderful experience ☺

The people I've met, the new places I've gone to and all the unforgettable moments have made this school year pretty awesome ☑

Only 3 (hopefully 2, if I get exempted from ES finals) days of finals to go and I can finally say hello to summer break! ☀

I'm so excited. Summer 2012 is really looking up ♡

Oh and before I end this post, let me just say that I'll finally get to continue my 30-day challenge (which I haven't been updating for the past 2 weeks. Definitely long overdue haha)

Check out my next post for Day 12 ☺☺

Meet the Pavinos! (Day 11)

Okay, so this post is really late. Two weeks of not blogging, wow haha! School has just been so crazy and it's like my workload never seems to lessen. 

Well, I really wanted continue so I'm finding the time to write again now. Hopefully I get to post again tomorrow. Anyway, here's day 11! ☺

Day 11 - Your family

My family is amazing. Seriously. I'm so, so thankful that God blessed me with them ☺

I'll start by talking about my parents.

My parents are incredibly loving, patient and hard-working. They definitely gave my sister and I a wonderful childhood. They've always been so supportive of us both and they've never failed to show us how much they love us. They've always put me and Kaye first - always sacrificed and did as much as they could to make us happy. They are just so selfless and it makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl alive. They've also brought me up to love and respect God above all. I'm grateful because I have a strong foundation of faith, thanks to them.

Another thing I admire so much is how wonderful their marriage has been all these years. Not once have I ever seen them fight or exchange harsh words with one another. They have always treated each other with respect and kindness. They have always remained patient and affectionate with one another as well. Their love for each other is one thing I really hope I get blessed with in the future. It's because of that love that our family has grown closer through the years. It's because of that love that we are happy and content ☺

 

Now, I'll talk about my sister. 

My sister is the best. She's the sweetest and kindest person I know. Ever since we were little, we've never had a major fight. I think the worst we've been through is just tampuhan (and it hasn't ever lasted long). I just find it so hard to stay mad at someone who's always been so loving to me. Every day, she does little acts of kindness that make me feel so special. She puts up with my immaturity and weirdness as well. To be honest, sometimes, I think she should be the older sister. Even though we're 4 years apart, I've always seemed like the younger one because of how serious she is and how immature I am (haha yes, I really am). 

I'll admit, I bully and tease her a lot but I guess it's just how I show my affection to her. It's because I know she understands that's how I really am. She's the only person in the whole world who knows exactly how weird I am. She's the only person in the world I feel completely and truly comfortable around. I don't need to pretend around her at all. There's no need to. 

I love my sister so, so much and I know that I really am blessed to have her. I wouldn't want to replace her with anyone else. And I just know that even when we grow older, we'll always be really close (or hopefully even closer than we are now). I know she's always gonna be there for me and I will always, always be there for her too. Every time she feels unsure of herself, I just want her to realize how great she is. She says she looks up to me but in truth, I look up to her. She's smart, beautiful, sweet, kind, funny and understanding. What more could I ask for in a sister, really ☺

 (Haha ok I'm so cheesy, but it's fine because I know my sister deserves it hehe)

(Isn't she just beautiful? ♡)

The Random 10 (Day 10)

Day 10 - Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play

⓵ All We Are - Matt Nathanson
⓶ Gotten - Slash (ft. Adam Levine)
⓷ Friday, I'm In Love - The Cure 
⓸ Good To You - Marianas Trench (ft. Kate Voegele)
⓹ Over - Jimmy Eat World
⓺ Ocean Wide - The Afters
⓻ Constant Conversations - Passion Pit
⓼ Glad - Tyler Hilton
⓽ I'm Ready, I Am - The Format
⓾ Science Of Fear - The Temper Trap

Beyond the books and boards (Day 9)

Day 9 - How important you think education is

I'll start with saying that education is important. 

It's one of the prime factors that affect the growth and progress of any life and nation. It's used to mold minds, enrich talents and gifts, and give people the strength they need to face greater challenges in life. 

However, it's not solely limited to the world of schools, universities, books, teachers and pens. 

Education is the art of learning, itself. 

Academic and scholarly knowledge (like what we get from schools or universities) are just some aspects. We can be educated in the arts and sports, in technology and mechanics, in writing and reading, and more. 

Education is the bridge that leads us away from ignorance. It helps us achieve a higher purpose in our lives. It's not just important; it's also vital and irreplaceable.

It's a privilege that must not be taken for granted. Its importance is highlighted all the more by the fact that not everyone in the world has the resources or luck to obtain it. 

Education is the start or the steppingstone that brings us possible success in the future. However, we must keep in mind that no matter where we receive our education or how much of it we receive, it is always up to us to decide what to do with what we have and how to act because of it. 

Ultimately, our futures will be paved by the decisions we make.

(c) http://pptfresh.com/education/

(Whew, feels like a school essay haha)

Yummy in my tummy (Day 8)

I am so late with this post! I should be on Day 12 already but I didn't have the time to write (yes, I got a bit lazy too). But now, I have some free time so I better get back on track! Will do 2-3 posts today to try and catch up by tomorrow (hopefully) ☺

Day 8 - What you ate today

I'll put what I ate yesterday instead because I've only had one meal so far today :|

Yesterday, my sister and I woke up pretty late for breakfast so we ended up having lunch instead. It was a Sunday yesterday and Sunday lunches at home are always really good. True enough, the food yesterday did not disappoint ☺

I had:

✔ My grandma's special roast chicken

This chicken is amazing! I'm not even exaggerating. Every time my grandma makes this, my mouth always waters with anticipation. It's always so juicy and flavorful. She also makes her own gravy which complements the chicken perfectly.

✔ Sunny side up egg

There were two sunny side up eggs left for me and my sister since we missed breakfast. We decided to eat them during lunch and they were still pretty good. I like putting my egg over my rice and slicing it into small squares there so that the yolk mixes with the rice hehe ☺

✔ Cream of mushroom soup

I don't usually take soup but I guess missing breakfast made me really hungry.

✔ "Frozen banana dessert"

I'm not sure what it was but it was really good. It tasted like bananas frozen in ice cream at first but then I realized it wasn't ice cream. Whatever it was, it sure was delicious!

For dinner:

✔ Pancit canton

Kaye was craving for pancit canton so we just asked our maid to cook this big pack for us. I wanted to try Mo Twister's famous stir-fry recipe because a lot of people have been saying that it makes pancit canton simply divine but I thought we didn't have olive oil in the pantry. It turns out we had one bottle though :| Gonna try the recipe next time!

✔ Banana

Yes, I had a banana again for dessert. This time I sliced it into pieces then I ate it with Laughing Cow Milky Cheese spread. I know, you must be thinking "Bananas and cheese spread?? Ew gross" but it's actually pretty good! It's nothing like Cheez Whiz, don't you worry hahaha ☺ But yeah, I admit that sometimes, I do make the weirdest pairings with food.

Strike five.. You're out! (Day 7)

I'm so late in posting this but who cares, I was busy haha.

Day 7 - Five pet peeves

➊ People who walk really slow in front of you, especially when you're in a crowded area and are in a hurry.

I don't think I need to say more about this. Majority of the people I know hate it when this happens.

➋ People who aren't nice or are just downright rude to waiters, guards, sales clerks and other people who are part of the service industry.

I find it really annoying and also quite sad when I see people treating others badly. It irritates me when they act like they're so much better than them or when they act as though the person serving them/helping them out deserves less. We're all equal, aren't we? So those little things like failing to say thank you, ignoring sales clerks or those people who hand out flyers, failing to say "good morning/afternoon/evening" when the guards tell you that, etc really bothers me. It makes me wish that we all had better manners and knew how to treat people right.

➌ People who talk really loudly during movies.

The main reason this peeves me is that I don't see why you have to talk so loudly that it's already distracting the people next to you. People watch movies because they actually want to see them and enjoy them. 

Imagine watching this really good movie but then the moment gets kind of ruined because some people near you just don't know how to keep it down. You can hear every word they're saying, be it about the movie or not. Wouldn't that be such a bummer? I'm not saying that I want a completely silent movie house though. I just want it to be appropriate to what type of movie I'm seeing, so if it's a comedy then go laugh your ass off. If it's a tearjerker, go ahead and cry. If it's a horror movie, scream away. Just make sure you still follow movie house etiquette ☺

➍ People who don't close the door after going inside the room.

Well I guess this applies specifically to my room. It really annoys me when someone goes inside but either forgets or just doesn't close the door after going in. I don't know why, but it just annoys me so much. One of the reasons is probably because I have to get up (if I'm sitting or lying down) and close the door myself.

➎ When people hover behind you while you're on your laptop/computer.

I'm sorry but this is just exasperating. It's okay to do it when I ask you to look at what I'm typing/reading/looking at but if it's just at random, then it irritates me because I feel like it's an invasion of my personal space. If you're going to look then at least have the decency to ask permission first. 

I sound angry, haha. I'm not. This is just one of those things that really ticks me off, sorry ☺

Reading Journal

❶ The Summer I was Sixteen by Geraldine Connolly

I remember this being one of the first few poems that we discussed in Lit class. I really liked it because it made me remember my "own summer when I was sixteen". That was the summer before I entered high school as a senior. It wasn't exactly like Geraldine's summer which she spent lazing around, having fun and just enjoying herself along with her friends. She didn't really worry about much and her biggest problems seemed to concern boys. This is pretty obvious when she mentions that "did not exist beyond the gaze of a boy". 

My summer was made up of going to school to train with the Boosters (our school's cheerleading squad) and lots of trips to the mall. However, I was able to start that summer with a beach trip with my Booster friends and we did have a lot of fun. I think I could compare my trip to how Geraldine spent most of her summer. It definitely counts as one of the best moments I recall as a sixteen year old.

❷ On the eve of the execution by Jaime An Lim

My group was assigned to report on this poem during the second round of group reports. I really liked it because of how cleverly written it was. I have to admit though that I didn't understand it the first time I read it. Once I read it again though, I remember thinking "Ohhhhh, now I get it!". My group mates and I researched a bit regarding Andres Bonifacio's death so that we could understand the poem better and we learned more about the conflict between the Magdiwang and Magdalo factions, how Emilio Aguinaldo's name has been shrouded with doubt regarding Bonifacio's death and more.

What struck me though is how the author made Emilio Aguinaldo sound. After reading the poem, you want to believe him when he says that he ordered Bonifacio's execution for the good of the country. You want to believe it when he says that he believes that he was acting out of his great love for the country. You want to believe that it was a case of "the end justifies the means". There are times though that you could also question his sincerity in the poem. Personally, I still feel torn. I want to believe that Aguinaldo did this out of his supposedly good intentions but at the same time, I keep thinking that it's easy for him to say that he would have "asked for nothing less" had their "roles been reversed". This poem is brilliant. It is one of the few that I simply can't get out of my head.

❸ The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

     "I took the one less traveled by, 

      And that has made all the difference."

I remember when I came to end of the poem and seeing these last two lines I started thinking "Ohhh, that's where that quote came from!". I've come across that certain snippet of the poem countless times and I've always liked it. It is embarrassing, on my part, to admit that I only learned this school year that those lines came from this poem by Robert Frost. When I read it again though, the whole thing felt complete. 

I like the simple message that Frost was giving everyone which is summed up by those last two lines. Too often we choose to take the easier path because we're afraid of facing hardships or challenges. What we should remember is that by going through so much more when we're trying to achieve something, that's what makes everything worthwhile. By choosing the easier path (the one most people take), we are limiting ourselves and playing it too safe. If we went beyond our comfort zones and took the "road less traveled by", we would be opening ourselves up to numerous opportunities. Reading this poem reminded me to be confident and to challenge myself to take risks.

❹ Tonight I Can Write by Pablo Neruda

I am probably not the first girl to say this but - I love this poem. It's one of those poems that really stays with you once you hear it or read it. When we were listening to audios of different poems, I remember being so awestruck when the audio of this poem played even though it wasn't the first time I had heard it.

What I find so beautiful about this poem is Pablo Neruda's use of language. Technically though, I'm talking about the English translation so I have to give credit to the person who translated it. However, I've looked at the original, the English translation and the Tagalog translation and I still find them all beautiful. You can really hear how broken he feels. All throughout the poem, we glimpse how he both loves the woman and also is trying to forget her. He says "I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her." It emphasizes all the more how much he truly did. Oh and, I find the last two lines particularly haunting. Pablo Neruda couldn't have chosen a better end to this poem.

❺ If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

Since I'm talking about Pablo Neruda, I want to talk about another poem of his which I also love. Once again, I could not forget this poem (pun not intended) because of the strong emotion that he expressed. I could feel the bitterness he was trying to hide (or maybe he wasn't, I'm not really sure) especially in these lines:

"Well, now,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you little by little."

and

"If suddenly 
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you."

I find it interesting that even though he mentions these lines in the middle of the poem, he chooses to end it with a stanza that is very hopeful. He tells the woman that if she feels that they are destined together, his passion and love will never be extinguished or forgotten. I think that Pablo was trying to "look out for himself". If the woman he loves didn't feel the same way, he would immediately start to let go and "stop loving little by little". He would have "already forgotten her". I think this poem talks about love but also how we should not be consumed by it. We should never forget to love ourselves as well.

❻ We Real Cool by Gwendolyn Brooks

My first thought when I came across this poem was "Why is it so short?". The second was "Why does the word 'we' always end each line?" Thankfully, after reading these poems, one of my questions was answered. I remember that my classmate, Pia, volunteered to read the poem and when she did, everything suddenly made sense.

The structure of the poem amused me so much and now, every time I see this poem, I cannot think of any other way to read it than how Gwendolyn wrote it. Another interesting thing about this poem is how even though it's pretty simple, the words could mean so many different things. I realized this when we were discussing it since most of us had different interpretations to "strike straight","sing sin", "thin gin" and "jazz june". This is one of the first poems that I really liked in Lit class.

❼ Sorting Laundry by Elisavietta Ritchie

I remember misinterpreting this poem the first time I read it. I thought that the persona was a widow and she was talking about past memories with her husband. Only during discussion did I realize that the persona was addressing her lover.

I like how she found a parallel between her life with her lover and sorting laundry. I think this is one of those poems wherein it seems easy to do but then it's actually difficult to write and pull it off. Oh and the last part was my favorite because I think that the whole poem was building up to that moment. Those last three lines certainly did not disappoint.

❽ The Hymn of a Fat Woman by Joyce Huff

My first memory of this poem is of my classmate, Jason, reading it in front of class. I remember laughing along with my seat mates because of how entertainingly he read it. Once we went through the poem again, I realized how much I liked it. I think it's one of the wittiest poems I've ever read and it also speaks of a rather important issue nowadays. Society lately has been obsessed with the idea of being this "perfect figure" and I think this poem captures perfectly how absurd that idea is. I could hear Joyce's voice (what I imagined it to be) while reading this poem and I could hear the sarcasm. It was funny, really. I think her main point was becoming one of those "rail-thin women" won't do us any good. It is an unhealthy obsession and it ends up hurting us or making us miserable when in fact, we should be enjoying everything life has to offer. Being healthy is definitely different from becoming anorexic, bulimic, and the like.

❾ If I Told Him by Gertrude Stein

I'm not really sure why I included this poem in my journal because it is the one poem which confused me beyond belief. The first time I encountered it was in audio form. Those familiar with this poem can just imagine how horrible that was.

Anyway, now that I think about it, maybe I do know why I included this poem in my journal. I think it's because it's the one poem etched in my memory solely because I did not understand it. I have a feeling that if I did, I might actually find it pretty brilliant.

❿ To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell

This was one of the poems that honestly disturbed me so much. I think it's because my initial interpretation was so far off from the actual meaning of the poem. This was the first poem that our group was tasked to report on. We all thought that it was a sweet poem with the persona declaring his love for the girl. It was only during discussion that Sir Exie made us realize how wrong we were. It is actually a poem about a guy trying to convince this girl to have sex with him. Vulgar, I know but there you go.

When you read it with that knowledge in mind, I think you would be both amused and bothered. Amused because of how the man presents his argument. To him "if they had but world enough and time", the woman's coyness "would be no crime" and they could spend all eternity taking their time and enjoying themselves. However, they do not have time that's why he believes that they should do the deed. On the other hand, you'd be bothered because of the words he uses when he talks to the girl (read poem to better understand). It makes you think, was that guy really that desperate to have this girl? I really don't know.